My brother calls me defensive, but I like to think I'm opinionated.  

When something bothers us, we should have the strength to say something back. Often no one says anything and things become silent, which is when problems start. So this is me saying something back to one of our sociology students: http://mrpanfil.blogspot.com/. 

You left a comment on some one's blog the other night: i fell the same way about being taught to be obedient,neat,and polite as kid. I fell that society has turned its back on parents/ or other adults being able to hit kids around. It was good fro kids it taught them a lesson and taught them to be tuff. Now we got a bunch of sissies and weenies running around. Bro. 


Parenting your child by hitting them is not okay. It's as simple as that.

For a few years a family of three has lived next to mine. Their son, Jack, is the one of the cutest kids I've ever met. Ever since he was born, I've babysat him and seen him grow. Jack is surrounded by different authoritative figures throughout the week. His parents work full time, he has an incredible nanny who takes care of him daily, his teachers at the daycare that he attends five days a week, and me. Over the years we've all noticed how he has behavioral problems beyond that of an average kid his age.

After spending countless hours there over the summer, I can't describe how difficult it was to handle him. Half the time I wanted to pull my hair out or cry or sit in a corner and pretend I wasn't there. Despite how badly I wanted him to behave, I never wanted to hit him. However, I know Jack's parents have conflicting feelings on how to discipline him. His mom tries handling it rationally, even though it takes insane amounts of patience and understanding. Then there is his father who willingly threatens him and has been tempted to hit him. (on a side note: a few months ago, Jack's dad was informed at work that you can punish your child by putting vinegar on a napkin and putting it on your child's tongue, which he actually now uses). 


Don't get me wrong, I know Jack's parents love him even if they're probably struggling everyday with raising him. But over the past year I sometimes worry about Jack. It's an understatement to say his dad's beliefs and temper bother me. But more importantly than me being bothered, I know Jack is scared. After spending so much time with him, you can see through his eyes and reactions how much he fears his own dad.


Lessons taught through pain aren't effective and aren't going to build your child a strong character. They're going to remember the pain more than the lesson. According to the National Association of Social Workers, physical punishment leads to: "physical injury, increased aggression, antisocial behavior, poorer adult adjustment, and greater tolerance of violence" along with, "a risk to the safety and development of children". Building a strong character is done by supporting your children, letting them follow what the believe in, and instilling confidence in them. Harming them in any way for any reason will get them no where.

I realize there are so many factors that impact how a parent raises their child, but physically punishing them shouldn't be one of them. I loathe in the greatest way how history and society continues to lead parents in using this kind of discipline. And if you're parents raised you that way or someone told you that hitting a child is alright, I'm indescribably sorry.

So bro, I hope you realize there are a bunch of kids around you who never had a hand laid upon them and aren't "sissies" or "weenies", but incredibly strong individuals. And bro, these people are unquestionably tough. I'm sure if you weren't so ignorant and put some research into what you said, you'd understand how wrong you are, bro. There is enough all of us have been through in life that's makes us strong and tough without being hit, thanks so much bro.